Will you choose the dark side? i heard they have cookies :)

so this morning i woke up and actually felt like i was going to have a good day. these days come very rare to me at the moment, usually i have to mull over the fact of weighing out so many odds against me to the possitive, and let me tell you they seem like a million to one..... so you could say that the black hole of the dark side is sucking me besides me giving the voluentarty go ahead i wanna join to the darkside.
i also upon just waking up like 45 in ago, and no im still not wide awake yet this usually takes about a good 2 hour process, i still had to release some stuff that was weighing down my conscience, which i did, and of course it never on the pleasing side so i get to see my family dissapointed in me, which hurts the same, but i still feel a weight off my shoulders and a little lighter in my heart, and a little optomism in my day. did i mention i love my family? i do, its hard to show it at times with my actions while trying to learn how to control this malfunction of mine, but i know i will always have their support as long as i am getting help from myself. which right now i am doing, i have the people that i go to and see.... they are wonderful and truely have a big heart of compassion and caring (i can tell someone else who has a big caring heart). the downside of my up today is that they might be reschedualing or cancelling an appointment today, because ive got a couple of missed calls and a voicemail telling me to return their call "reguarding" my appointment. i hope its just a push back or something minute and not like a cancelling or whatever, because i really need them and someone to just confide in today.
even though ive already had an eventful morning and alot of reasons that i could be spirialing down, i have remained on the bright side (they serve something better than cookies.....chocolate!) and i will be having a good day today. ill blog later on when i fully wake up and continue on my path for today, and i cant promise that i wont spiral downwards cause i am dealing with alot mentally today, but all i can do is try and remain in the possitive.